It is not all sour.

This has been on my mind for the longest time I can remember. This has been a contemplation of finding hope in my life.

The idea of not having a mother figure in my life plays a big role in my life. It has been so long that the beautiful soul has left this world but I must say she left a place no man can fill. This ironic situation is some how a part of my life. I practically lived the first years of high school asking my self why did she let go of her life? How could she live this beautiful being to fend for self? Was I not some thing she thought of when she gasped her last breath?

I then lived most of my life shadowed by the questions I asked and never receiving the answers I wanted. Mind you I had been screaming inside with wanting to live with her. Though I had been in JHB for all most 4 years, the small town boy was battling, with out showing that the big city is not for him. When her funeral came life seemed the saddest movie. Filled with sorrow and looming darkness that seemed as though I would wake up from a bad dream.

It has been 16 years since mom passed on and I have carried my self to turning 25 this year August. Yep! Next month is #BBD (boo_Boo_Bday).

I have learnt that the life of being responsible was instilled in me. I have learned that each one has a choice in life. Cherishing friend ship and the people I have meet in my life has played a big role and has shaped the person I am. Working hard at living and fulfilling life’s desires is a burden I love to hate. Having the responsibility of acquiring what’s necessary to live a comfortable dream is an 8 to 4 standard position I fight for every time I wake up in the morning.

Yes some of my heartfelt dreams haven’t transpired but I know that in its time all will work out. Just today a friend posted a picture in his face book time line of showing an simple yet so true thing that in life you may have seat backs but all come together when all moves forward and it will seem as an unrealistic thing to your enemies.

I now know that all things are not so bitter and must carry my life as some one who has it all. When I have friends! Family! Aspiration! A job that I love so much. Must I still feel as if I am lacking or less of a human because the one who gave birth to me is no more. I wake up every day and fix my self to live this life as a happy person for I have every thing in my power! This is my life and ether way I would have lived it my way.

To all those who have there mothers! Love them! Cherish them for you may never know what tomorrow holds. Never forget though that this life is for you to live! Its every ones responsibility and we can only live to fulfil it.

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For what is worth

Whether you wake up happy or unhappy. One should all ways consider the next person.

Crazy thing just happened now in the morning. If I was the old Bulelani I would be sucking my thumb like a kid lost in the wonders of confusion and hurt. Our realisations and truth are not the same so it is most important to know that you live in a world that is shared. We are different and have different believes.

What it is, is to accepting each other not in a way that will promote tolerance but in a way that will politely make the other person understand. You building your confidence by degrading some one with bitching and rejoicing in you being heard and stating your feeling. Never have I thought asking you to do some thing will lead to you languishing with anger and inflicting it to me. Well as I wrote, I am no longer that person that will languish in your words.

Having to woken up in a bad side, does not mean you should forget other peoples presents in your life not unless there the ones who made you feel like that. Nothing gives us the right to mandate our own fears and feelings of disappointments to others for other people have there own lives to live! Comments that make one to loose them selves while you vividly share your own.

For what is worth we should learn to live and let live. Share our selves in a way that gives life to the other. Never forget we all have the same father and he lives in each and every one of us. Let us be careful and be genuinely aware of how we channel our masages.

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life is but a dream…

people who do get results and people who dream create possibility. hope enlightens you from fear and fear gives you courage. our obstacles are our teachers and our experiences are our testimonials.

at this day and age we all know that information is in the tip of our hands, you just need an email address and set up account then every thing flashes and beeps right there and then. my phone has then again decided to dump me and live me for repairs and I have been left heart broken but have learnt one or 2 things that I should have known “vintage” years ago. My phone has accumulated a lot of my time because I could easily shut my self from the world, play music loud as I can and just surf the net for pointless things. more and more people have learnt the art of controlling them selves not to be socially distant but remain socially excepted by fellow companions or friends. That has clearly not been my reality. see the thing is, no matter how hard I can run away from it, it will all ways follow me. Uniformality!

We have all ways been uniformed, told what to do and how to behave as a people. we come from backgrounds that have been stricken by the unfair laws of apartheid and brutal cruelty (wish it loved poker dots like Crueler). we as the youth that have been born under the umbrella of freedom have a totally different struggle, well one that Mr. Malema been PR’ing FOR, for so long, financial freedom. we have limited resources, ruled by drugs and have limited opportunity. it is a reality that out of all kids who start school 60% are kicked out of the schooling system and never finish school. this is coursed by different reasons.

Ok, back to the UNIFORM thing, I all ways believed I was different. chose to wear differently and chose to basically follow trends and express my self differently. it maybe have been powered more by the fact that I AM G..! we as a people have been taught to follow and we do not know how to lead, even ones own life. this is boiled by different reasons of thinking alike “because we all didn’t finish school” and “we know that people have there degrees but yet they not working” or “I have a mom, dad, aunt, uncle, brother, sister who drink there lives away” then that’s what you are. we define our selves according to where we are, who we see and never think of what we could be other then that. UNIFORMED!

I am that boy that has aimed his standards so high. that boy who chooses to be different, who chooses to see life differently who has higher powers to change his life. I dream. Dream big, even bigger when they say I am crazy. I love the poem by Marianne Williamson that says “our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond our measure” she then goes on and say “its not just in some of us, but its in all of us” I choose to be the one who shines light as that light gives permission for others to do the same. do the same too.

we all have dreams or have dreamt before, find it in you to reignite it, put in that fuel and honey boo_boo live your life for it is your dream

Through the shades

Through the shades

when life shines on you with unkindness, burns you with fear! Let them shades be your savior.

its spring yoll and all that you can do is invest in a nice pair of shades. this spring is coming on with really hot heat waves so go out there and get them shades. I wont tell you how much they were, but they were a very, very reasonable price!

4th annual kzn top model search

Its that time again where Kzn top Model is looking for sister’s and brothers who think they have what it takes to be top models.

The castings will be as follows:

Date: 14 September 2013
Venue: Ulundi- multipurpose hall
Time: 10:00 to 12:00 (registration at 09:00)

Date: 28 September 2013
Venue: Durban – Bat Centre @ dance studio
Time: 12:00 to 16:00 (registration @ 11:00)

Date: 05 October 2013
Venue: PMB-Allan Wilson Bowling Club
Time: 12:00 to 16:00 (registration @ 11:00)

Date: 02 November 2013
Venue: Escort- town hall
Time: 12:00 to 16:00 (registration @ 11:00

For more information and application forms, contact the KZN top Model team on 073 1453 934/ 079 3691 448/ 082 9681 572

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Blissful life

Never I thought I would be this far. God has truly been handsome. It has brought me to place of humbleness that is filled with hope.

It is looking at life differently and gaining confidence in every accomplishment and giving value to what u don’t have. I have shadowed my life with anger that the most beautiful thing wear at seas and oblivious to normality. My abuse is seen in distance yet we forget how we victimize our selves every day.

It is learning to take care of your self while stabilizing your worth! Its crazy how you would chill in comfortable blank rooms afraid to color up it. Fine with doing what u know and doing like what others want. Neglecting your out most self.

Life become amazing when we count our blessings and treasure what’s tangible. Believing in your self and taking that challenge with submission to no fear. We chill and puff while folks twerking to copy right. Topping the charts and making $.

Its in all of us, we are given chances and this land at our advantage how we see it depends on our experiences and our individual reasoning. Life is bliss #instajoy

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