This has been on my mind for the longest time I can remember. This has been a contemplation of finding hope in my life.
The idea of not having a mother figure in my life plays a big role in my life. It has been so long that the beautiful soul has left this world but I must say she left a place no man can fill. This ironic situation is some how a part of my life. I practically lived the first years of high school asking my self why did she let go of her life? How could she live this beautiful being to fend for self? Was I not some thing she thought of when she gasped her last breath?
I then lived most of my life shadowed by the questions I asked and never receiving the answers I wanted. Mind you I had been screaming inside with wanting to live with her. Though I had been in JHB for all most 4 years, the small town boy was battling, with out showing that the big city is not for him. When her funeral came life seemed the saddest movie. Filled with sorrow and looming darkness that seemed as though I would wake up from a bad dream.
It has been 16 years since mom passed on and I have carried my self to turning 25 this year August. Yep! Next month is #BBD (boo_Boo_Bday).
I have learnt that the life of being responsible was instilled in me. I have learned that each one has a choice in life. Cherishing friend ship and the people I have meet in my life has played a big role and has shaped the person I am. Working hard at living and fulfilling life’s desires is a burden I love to hate. Having the responsibility of acquiring what’s necessary to live a comfortable dream is an 8 to 4 standard position I fight for every time I wake up in the morning.
Yes some of my heartfelt dreams haven’t transpired but I know that in its time all will work out. Just today a friend posted a picture in his face book time line of showing an simple yet so true thing that in life you may have seat backs but all come together when all moves forward and it will seem as an unrealistic thing to your enemies.
I now know that all things are not so bitter and must carry my life as some one who has it all. When I have friends! Family! Aspiration! A job that I love so much. Must I still feel as if I am lacking or less of a human because the one who gave birth to me is no more. I wake up every day and fix my self to live this life as a happy person for I have every thing in my power! This is my life and ether way I would have lived it my way.
To all those who have there mothers! Love them! Cherish them for you may never know what tomorrow holds. Never forget though that this life is for you to live! Its every ones responsibility and we can only live to fulfil it.
Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.